Today, after incitement by a CHAIN letter, a horde of villagers, armed with CHAINs, CHAIN guns, and CHAINsaws, attacked a shopping district in Washington DC, having crossed the CHAIN bridge. There our hero, a CHAIN smoker, sat nursing his drink at a coffee CHAIN. Killing the first villager to disturb his drinking, he took up the dead man’s CHAIN and proceed to battle the forces of evil. Little did he know that the same evil mastermind that sent the CHAIN letter also equipped his pawns with chemical tanks that would set off a CHAIN reaction when combined.

This..is..my..BOOMSTICK!