Well, crackerjacks, guys.
I’m not the worst programmer in the entire world but that’s a cold comfort to what I’m going through right now.
I don’t really “get” a lot of basic programming / GML principles and at times Game Maker’s help files are nothing short of nebulous.
I’m still gonna dare it up, but if you feel like lending someone a hand with introductory programming before the dare starts, I’m dekuscrub_weirdo at hotmail.com on MSN Messenger and hot-sexy-faggot on Skype. Yeah I know, classy.
You would win so many friend points you wouldn’t know where to spend them all.

I would love to help, but i don’t really understand what help you need.
Well, for a specific example, arrays really confuse me, I thought I had it figured out but they don’t behave how I want them to when I try to assign them values. Usually the program just crashes so I’m obviously doing something fundamentally wrong.
But really I’d just like someone I can ask a whole bunch of questions to about programming in general. I still haven’t figured out everything that’s allowed, and isn’t allowed, syntax-wise. I’m getting a handle on it but just someone I could discuss and say “so is this a legal direction?” or “how would I go about finding the decimal values in X and cut them out efficiently?”
I dunno, I’m just getting real programming anxiety here and the dare’s like, two days away.
I’ve had 3 years gmk experience and 1 year python, so you could try asking anything you want. Here’s my twitter @CipherFruit
String[] array = {“Array”,”makes”, “me crazy”, “xD”};
In GML, I find it easier to just assign to array[i] or array[i,i] (and assign array pointers to each of the values of the array if you need more than two dimensions) than to use the ds_list functions. A lot of the time while using arrays, you’re going to need to use while (expression) { } loops a lot regardless of which method you use, to loop through the array.
Okay that is a start. Thanks a lot.
Also thankfully, due to sheer mind-numbing persistence, I’m starting to really get the hang of game-maker, I think.